To this list you can also add Fat Tony, Gucci and Dior-clad DJ who have fought addiction, wrote bestselling memoirs and is the favorite DJ at fashion parties. Its Full Fat Brunch events are a mecca for the Huns, who relish the chance to don sequins, dance to Show Me Love by Robin S, have some bubbles and still be home in time for dinner.
Although you may stumble over being a hun, it’s great to be in this club. “Anyone can be a bit of a Hun, either literally or indirectly,” Howells says.
“If you enjoy living your best life with your group of girls—the collective term no matter your gender—whether it’s endless brunch or something else where you can make memories and chat about past gaffes, you’re probably Han.”
Five Signs You’re a Superior Hunter
Your favorite drink is premium tequila
While your go-to mid-week drink of choice is rosé (known affectionately as “diesel bitch”), you won’t be a fan of upscale music if you don’t end your night with a loud beater for a round of tequila shots—but not brown, clear tequila.
You believe in perpetual sex
Sexuality often drops off under a long-term marriage, but those who partner with high-end Huns are in luck, because you believe deeply in maintenance sex, and you’ve got the expensive lingerie drawer to prove it.
While she enjoys lovemaking for its mental and physical benefits (“Why do you think J-Lo looks so attractive at 53?” she’ll consult less fat friends), she also enjoys her gadgets, Agent Provocateur’s bra and We-Vibe Chorus among them.
You are obsessed with plump lips
La Mer lip plumpers, Too Faced lip syringes, Charlotte Tilbury pillow… I’ve tried a lot. Nothing beats a Juviei concealer syringe, but between appointments, a lip plumper will do, preferably one that gives a glossy sheen.
But not a glossy gloss, because no hun wants strands of hair stuck to her lips when she gets down to business. Your general rule: If it doesn’t shiver, it doesn’t work.
You hate working out
Long before Kim Kardashian released Skims, you owned an arsenal of shapewear, and you still thought Spanx was best, because you’re loyal that way. You are also lazy in this way. She’s tried yoga, pilates, wild swimming, you have the full combo of all three, and she can often be found at your local park, wearing Hokas, Lululemon and Dryrobe while walking with Queenie, your cavapo.
You are using the word “hon” too much.
No matter you went to Bedales: you prefer to speak in mock tones. Your language is likewise more colloquial than your extravagant education would suggest: call your friends, your mother, and even your children ‘hon’, though never your mother-in-law: you won’t get it – just as you don’t. Get that you’re in a WhatsApp group called The Hackney Huns / Huns On The Lash / The Total Slags.
Are you a classy hon? Tell us in the comments