‘Southern Charm’ Season 8, Episode 14 Recap

Southern charm

I always say this is a show about horrible men and the women who tolerate them. A said a friend recently that it really is a show about law, and she’s not wrong. In this episode, we got to see Shepard Rose, the Law Archivist, literally eating food off someone else’s plate. Naomie says, “At least ask now before you eat.” Wait, so he literally takes other people’s food without asking? I have never seen a better metaphor for law in my long socialist life.

I think I found this moment so disturbing because there really isn’t anything else to focus on in the entire episode. There were only two fights this entire trip: the one where everyone tells Shep that he’s a horrible boyfriend for Taylor and needs to change, and the one between Craig and Naomie, who made a deal with the devil to stay together to get down. -level of fame and success in selling pillows. There’s a third fight at the end between Venita and Naomie, but that’s just an offshoot of the second fight where Naomie and Craig are mad at each other.

There’s something about this whole trip in a not-so-luxurious resort that made it feel like a conference. That doesn’t sound like friends having a good time. It looks like a job. Looks like the choice was this or a ropes course and none of the girls wanted to deal with the camel’s tip so they got stuck drinking beers on a boat with the Rape Culture University Class of 2002 .

Taylor, who is stuck at work on this trip, knows Shep has a point and says he acts like a 12-year-old when he’s drunk. He insists on sitting next to her on the sofa and she says no. This is another way to control it; he is determined to get what he wants not just because he wants it, but as a way to exercise his dominance. I think Austen is right; Shep feels this relationship slipping away from him, so he clings even tighter.

Shep is on the couch talking about how he’s always getting punished for his kindnesses, and I have no idea what he’s talking about. First of all, who punishes him? Second, we’ve never seen him be kind. I bet Shep is so cruel he didn’t even rewind his VHS tapes before returning them to Blockbuster. (Shep and I are both old, but I don’t think he ever rented First Wives Club for 12 weeks at her local video store like someone I know.) Meanwhile, Taylor, Olivia, and Austen are in the kitchen playing a drinking game where they have to take a hit every time Shep says the words “love,” “happy”. ,” or “done.” Dude, even his girlfriend knows it’s a joke. They’re in there laughing at him as he rambles on about how unfair life is while he gets checks from his trust fund and takes scraps of meat from someone else’s cutlery.


Eventually, this turns into a real fight between him and Austen, which makes up for the fake fight between Austen and Craig on the gravel driveway. (Nothing says luxury accommodations like a driveway that can be attached to sneaker loops.) This, based on the trailer, looked like it would be a real tense moment, but instead it’s just Craig’s drunken antics before going back to his room and asking everyone to come hang out with him because he has Cool Ranch Doritos and his mom said they could order a pay-per-view movie.

Shep comes down and starts whispering in Taylor’s ear how everyone is attacking her. Dude, no one is attacking you. They’re just mentioning, very calmly and kindly, that you treat your girlfriend (and maybe everyone else) like crap. That’s right, see any kind of criticism as an attack. They are looking for both i Taylor, and you can’t appreciate it at all. What happened to Shep in therapy, the one starting to understand feelings and grow up? He and Carl did Summer house do a body swap?

Austen and Shep start drunkenly yelling at each other, calling each other cunts and saying each is an embarrassment. Shep yells that he can’t believe he’s sharing oxygen with Austen. Yes, very privileged. Even your air is better than everyone else’s like you’re drinking Perri Air space balls. This fight was so stupid, but if Austen, a man who treats women worse than the crusty socks on his floor, can say you’re bad at relationships, then your shit is severely broken.

Now we interrupt this recap to give you a recap of the show within a show called Leva talks to her son in her kitchen. Today Leva and her son are in the kitchen. She is talking to him. They make chocolate chip cookies, and Leva says she’s no longer a control freak because she lets her son butter the cookie sheets. That was the whole episode Leva talks to her son in her kitchen. Tune in next week to see how the cookies turned out and what they’ll be talking about.

The next day, Shep, Whitney, and Naomie go golfing and the rest of the cast goes shrimp fishing. This is not really an activity. They just sit in a trawler while two other guys fish, and they sit around with knits and shotgun beers. It actually looks like a fun day, but why are we seeing this? What is this?

The boat gives us one of the many moments of Craig and Austen bromance in the episode. We see Craig doing Titanic on the boat with Austen behind him as Craig shouts, “We’re on top of the world.” He says he took his mistrust of women out of this movie, but didn’t bother to learn the one quote everyone knows about it.

After the shrimp, we see them getting ready for dinner and they’re both wearing long sleeve shirts with writing on the sleeves and hoods and backwards ball caps. It’s like the Sigma Nu uniform or something. They then ride tandem bikes together to dinner. Oh, these two should get married already. When Craig talks about inviting his girlfriend to the party he’s throwing in the next episode of the season finale (thank goodness), Olivia says, “You mean Austen.” Okay, good cream, Olivia. That’s all you’ve given us all season, so thank you for that.

Dinner is tense because, well, Craig and Naomie shouldn’t be around each other. In any other universe you break up with a person and never see or hear from them again. I understand why Craig is mad because he has yet to hear Naomie condescending to him, which she does, but to her credit she condescends to everyone. Hello, she is French. She can’t help it any more than Americans can’t help wanting huge appliances and too much ice in their sodas.

At dinner, Naomie is angry that Craig hasn’t apologized for blowing her up the night before and “eating and drinking” her on the floor. Again, this shouldn’t be a problem because they aren’t next to each other. However, a reality show is an artificial construct. They need to be around each other, so maybe Craig should be a little nicer to her and she should give him a wider berth. You know, so they can keep cashing the checks and we don’t want to dump them into whatever body of water Charleston sits on. The Ionian Sea? I do not know. I’m still thinking about Austen’s ass from the last episode.

As the fight escalates, Venita tries to tell Naomie that she should at least acknowledge that Craig’s feelings are valid. That’s not what Naomie wants to hear and says, “Shut up, Venita,” which is no way to talk to anyone, especially a friend, and especially the only black member of the cast. Craig leaves saying that he doesn’t like the person he becomes when Naomie is around, which is a valid point, but it’s not his fault that he’s flashy and immature. He says he doesn’t want to be like Shep and yell at the girls, so he goes and puts on his jammies and waits for Austen and Shep to bring him dessert and a glass of port.

At dinner, Naomie is yelling at Venita that she’s “fake as shit” for what she said. Actually, no. People on reality shows have this way of calling other people fake when they say something they don’t want to hear. I think Venita was in reality real like shit She was saying that even though Naomie might disagree with him, Craig still has feelings and she should respect them. I think it takes a true friend to stand up to you and tell you when you’re wrong. Being loyal doesn’t mean always agreeing with you; it means to always take care of yourself. I think Venita was trying to do that by de-escalating this fight and she only got an earful from Naomie about it. Loyalty is not blind devotion. Port is not wine. Doritos is not a group of friends hanging out in your hotel room. Shrimp is not just a boat trip. But mostly, law isn’t great. When will these jamokes learn?