Goop’s G.Tox 7-Day Reset Is Challenging But Worth It

For many reasons, this is a stressful time to be. As such, pain and pleasure are deeply intertwined in many seemingly enjoyable activities, such as BDSM, attending family events, watching Lars Von Trier movies, taking exercise classes, and being a Morrissey fan. The same can be said of “detox,” an increasingly popular wellness initiative, in which one radically changes one’s diet for a while in hopes of cleansing the body. In theory, doing a detox can be a good thing; It combines discipline, healthy eating and envisioning the ideal daily routine you want to have. Detoxing is hard on both your mind and body because you literally live in a way that forces your body to flush out toxins (drinking until you vomit probably achieves the same goal, but I’m getting off topic); unfortunately, it can also be extremely satisfying, because I hope you come out on the other hand feeling like a clean, renewed person. It’s like Gandalf dying but then coming back. The twin towers as a white magician. Nutritionists will agree that this is exactly the same thing. However, changing your diet can certainly go too far, so this should always be approached thoughtfully – unless you’re me and you don’t want to torture yourself for basically no reason.

There are many different types of detoxes—including raw eating, juice, liquid diets, and colon cleanses—but most of them revolve around some combination of: 1) gluten, sugar, alcohol, soy, caffeine, or dairy products (and products, grains, and vegetables) from your diet. focusing on unprocessed whole foods like legumes), 2) adding nutrients like protein powders, probiotics, and other supplements, and 3) intermittent fasting. sounds badYou may be thinking. I already hate my life, so why would I even consider doing that? Eating shit and drinking too much is the only thing to do in this hellish world.. But you probably has Since you’ve thought about doing this, you’re still reading, so you want to know if Goop’s G.Tox 7-Day Reset Kit, the super-overkill, spark plug detox program from Gwyneth Paltrow’s wellness company Goop, is worth it.

Well, my friends, I’ve carefully G.Toxed myself to review my journey and decide if it’s right for you (or if the frozen pizza in your fridge meets its fate today). For the record, I support any of these resolutions.


$195 also idiot

What does G.Tox contain?

I won’t be taking a nap (especially since sugar is forbidden in this detox): The first few days of the G.Tox routine filled me with deep anger and despair. I admit, I don’t like to think about anything other than work, movies and movies. Elder Ring, but it was difficult to integrate it into my life. Spoiler alert: With that said, G.Tox just got easier and even fun. Here’s a review of the detox booklet’s section titled “What’s in the Box,” which is supposed to be a God-level joke referencing one of Paltrow’s greatest (off-screen) movie moments.

The box contains: 7 servings of “Reset Cereal Blend” (a superfood-filled porridge that can be served with sweet or savory sauces); 7 portions of “Reset Protein Powder” that you will consume once a day in the form of a smoothie; 7 servings of “Detoxifying Superpowder” that you mix with 2 ounces of water and take a shot each morning; 7 servings of Gut Microbiome Powder, a (mostly) tasteless cocktail of probiotics and digestive enzymes you drink for lunch; and a dry brush that you never consume, but instead use to brush your skin. The key is that you need to eat and drink these at regular intervals within an 8-hour window – intermittent fasting! – so if you have your smoothie at 8 a.m. per G.Tox’s directions, you’ll have your needs met. I chose a 9 to 6 window instead of 5 p.m. cereal because I play by my own rules.

sticky box

Goop G.Tox 7-Day Reset Kit. Author’s photo.

Is that too much shit to keep straight? You’re absolutely right, especially if you have a full-time job, an apartment to clean, and a social life to follow. Basically, you should dedicate it to making it the primary thing in your consciousness, at least for the first few days. Once you get used to it, it’s actually pretty easy to maintain.

Oh, and the list of things you should avoid eating during the reset: alcohol, coffee, corn, dairy, eggs, gluten, nightshade (tomatoes, potatoes, eggplant, peppers), refined sugar, shellfish, soy, and white rice. Gluten and coffee were the hardest for me, but we’ll get into that.

what is it actually like

While it is clear that the program is designed to last for a week, I will detail how the first day of G.Tox went – including what I ate – as a microcosm. Day 1, I woke up full of energy and ready to ~*detox*~. Instead of coffee, I made stove tea and drank my aforementioned Reset Protein Powder smoothie, which included strawberries, bananas, blueberries, dates, some peanut butter (the only ingredient was peanuts, because I made it in my Vitamix). and almond milk. To be honest, it was really good—as an old workout pleasure, I don’t really care for the taste of protein powder in my smoothies, but I can see why some people find it a little earthy or grainy. For lunch, I made brown rice with mushrooms, cabbage, garlic, and broccoli sautéed in lemon-tahini sauce. I also added some red bell pepper because I forgot I couldn’t eat nightshade, meaning I ruined the detox almost instantly. However, about intentright?

For dinner, I made the weirdo cereal using Goop’s salty cereal directions, which is “something hearty + something green + alliums.” That means a bowl of sautéed garlic, white beans, kale, and lemon, along with the grain mix. I’m not going to lie – I think the cereal mix looks and tastes bad. I agree it’s healthy, but it’s basically a goop-y (lol), sticky-y porridge similar to what the team ate matrix. It doesn’t taste bad (not really at all), not a texture I like with these ingredients (as some people hate the air of avocado, bubble tea, or caviar).


Reset the cereal on its own. Author’s photo.

After the meal, I used the dry brush described in the booklet. It is used in Ayurveda to get rid of the body. or (toxic build-up), dry brushing exfoliates the skin and promotes local circulation, which is essential in a healthy skincare routine. For a cosmic reason, the abrasive removal of dead skin cells from my body made me want to listen to The Cure. fragmentationAnd frankly, after doing a bit of these two activities, ironically, I felt very relaxed and physically rejuvenated. Dry brushing seemed silly to me at first and I’m not scientifically sure if it’s really effective, but it’s such a fun thing to do every night and I’ll keep doing it even now that I’m free. From the dominion of G.Tox.

Until the end of the week, which I will talk about shortly, my meals continued more or less like this. Smoothies were more or less the same every morning, and my lunch was an assortment of rice and sautéed vegetables; I ate sweet potatoes with vegetables for two days and tahini sauce instead. For end-of-day meals, I’ve just suffered from the aggressively cornflakes. good, until one night I decided to try the “sweet” iteration. I made a cereal and added banana, peanut butter, cocoa beans, and cinnamon—basically exactly what the book tells it to do. To be honest, I found it pretty scary. I could barely eat. But in the end, one reason why this reset works as a one-week schedule is that it’s so easy to repeat on a daily basis; No alarms or surprises.

Did you mention intermittent fasting?

As for the eating window… that was tough. I am a late eater. If it were up to me, I’d have dinner every night between 9 and 10 pm – my girlfriend hates it and I know it’s really bad for my digestion, but that’s exactly how I am. So, eating at 6pm for the first few days extremely It’s hard for me, mostly mentally. Between being dissatisfied with my cereal meal and craving my nightly dessert (most nights, if I’m not drinking, I eat yogurt, fruit, and homemade granola around 11pm), I was nervous all night. To fill the void, I’ve been scrolling through Instagram, which is almost entirely filled with pictures of delicious meals, which pissed me off even more because I’m a food journalist, so I’ve vowed to cut back on my after-dinner gram use. I went to bed in anger and dreamed of pizza and bread.

Has it gotten easier?

Absolutely. I’d say the first half of the week is pretty tough, both in terms of changing my eating routine and spending all that time consuming all the powders, making smoothies, making lunches from scratch, and cooking cereal meals. But after a few days, my overall hunger levels have probably dropped to what’s considered “normal” (I like to eat – sue me); and caffeine cravings are gone. Like Pavlov’s dog, I thought I’d wake up and run to the kitchen to make a smoothie, but during this reset, I woke up less hungry than I’ve ever been. That was great.

G.Tox has become my regular routine and I stopped caring about being deprived of things, especially when my energy levels dropped a bit. I wasn’t sure if it was my detoxing body or my worsening will to live, but I kept moving forward. Honestly, I’ve come to enjoy solidity. Yes, you can make any type of smoothie, lunch, and cereal you want (within strict parameters), but you don’t search for recipe books for appealing meals; you cook very simple meals overnight, last-minute reservations, fast food order calls for dinner parties, “Does this wine go with brisket?” asking questions or having a beer after work with my friend. These are all things I love, but TBH, taking a week off from all the social meal deals and eating at home was great.

Have I finally won?

Detox was not without barriers. Late in the week, on Saturday, an old knee injury was pretty bad and I had to go to emergency care. I miss my morning protein smoothie and detoxifying powder, I admit. On the other hand – and I don’t think I know the behavior of anyone who has ever made Goop G.Tox – but I might be the first person in the world to drink a glass of Goop’s gut microbiome superpowder and then take codeine and watch friends. I didn’t have much of an appetite that night (because I was on drugs), so I skipped the cereal and drank my overdue smoothie instead.

Other than that day off, I think I finished the Goop reset with a pretty high success rate. stove tea definitely He helped me with night cravings as I was initially worried that I wouldn’t be able to stand to eat so early. That last Sunday night, after I finished my cereal dinner, I thought, Hey, technically the detox is over. Should I order burritos? I thought for a while, but in the end I felt like it was going to ruin the day spiritually. I drank tea instead. However the coffee the next morning was sublime.


First sip of coffee in a week. Author’s photo.

TL;DR: Goop G.Tox 7-Day Reset is definitely helpful. With $195 and a week in your life, this is no trivial investment or time commitment, but if you feel like it’s something that can help you flush out some toxins or switch to a healthier lifestyle, I highly recommend it. It was a great opportunity for me to learn more about my diet and how to fine-tune it.

I came out of G.Tox with three main takeaways: 1) I generally eat a lot of bread and gluten; 2) removing soy made me realize that I was consuming more tempeh, amino acids, and tamari than I thought; and 3) It is possible for me to get used to eating dinner at a reasonable hour. Will I eat pizza again tonight? Absolutely. Am I going to drink too much Scotch and order vegan ice cream sometime before winter is over? Probably. But after this busy week, will I also try to make some real changes that many would consider cruel punishment? All signs point to yes.

Goop G.Tox is available here.

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